I found a book in the basement called "The Pocket Ref". Wondering what in the world that means, I picked it up and opened to some random page. At the top of the page was the heading: Women's Life Expectancy. Me: "Whaaa??" I checked the chart, curious to know what they had me pegged for.
62.07 years.
62.07 years left to live! They're only expecting me to live to be 80?? What in the world? Do people actually sit around a long mahogany table discussing how old 18 year old girls in Idaho are going to live? And what's with this .07 thing??
Man 1:"The average 18 year old girl will probably only live to be 80."
Man 2: "Then we'll mark her down for 62 years."
Man 3: "Yes, but isn't that a little depressing? Knowing you'll only live 62 years more?"
Man 1: ".... we'll put a .07 afterwards. That should help cushion the blow."
Man 3: "Thank you, that is most satisfactory."
Lame, people. With only 62.07 years left to live, I can certainly think of better things to do with my time then sit around deciding how long everyone else is going to live.
Besides, I'll have you know that I plan to live at least until I'm 90! Sing ho for the days of Methuselah! Oh for the time when men and women lived to be stamping about in their hundreds!
8 comments:
that is my most favorite book of the worlds coolest irrelevant data ever created. "10-4" look it up. ;-D
Oh, you know this book, Clay? Its awesomely random and irrelevant, isn't it? lol
It's funny - I have a book just like that. It's called Schott's Original Miscellany, and it's really interesting!
We have a Navy Pocket Ref! It's AWESOME.
By the way, "stamping about" is an excellent phrase. :-D
Thank you, thank you. :)
The conveyor belt of time . . . leading to an incinerator, perhaps? :)
Just kidding of course, but all those scenes from movies of the hero fighting it out on a conveyor belt into grinders or incinerators came back to me. I'm with you. My household was 1.53 times the size of the average 2.4 children. Miraculously, we all were entire and none of us were fractions!! Whew. One shot in a million, eh?
*dies laughing at Kaleb* Hahaha!
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